So Into You

I wish you could hear my morning, birds chirping, chicks clucking, mangoes falling, leaves rustling, cats meowing, dogs barking and prayers being prayed as the yellow sun rises to a gleaming Caribbean sunny. It’s the type of morning that makes you think, “it’s a beautiful day to be alive, and a beautiful day to save lives.” Therefore, you pray an extra prayer for the less fortunate, you feel slightly more grateful for what you have and where you are in life, and you feel more positive about the day ahead. Today I feel really mellow, I don’t want much, I don’t have the urge to say much, I just have a few tasks that need to get done, and I pray that they all get done in good time.

[Ms. Cleo you is perdy, you is beautiful, you is smart, and today you is a child of God, be fearless , let nothing remove the glimmer of hope that still exists in your eyes, you can do it.]

And today, I press forward, all my insecurities, disappointments and feelings of doubt shall be left behind, I’ll sweep them out before I take off so that when I come home, they don’t creep up on me while I am alone.

So have an awesome day, whatever battle you’re fighting, take it to God , you are awesome, and amazingly special. Sing this song to yourself, Be so into you. Tamia – I’m So into You -DTwinz Cover

Learning to Love

Yesterday , I put down my phone for a few hours, picked up a self-help book, and sat in my yard in silence. I watched two hens  lead a large clutch of chicks over some green banana peels near the foot of that very crop, and it was then that I realized a young plant was also forming at the base of the tree. After being bitten near my butt by an overly friendly ant, I decided to walk to the other end of my yard and apparently there is also a small vine of passion fruits , and it was then that I was finally able to distinguish between the mango and kennip tree barks. I asked myself, where have I been? How could I have not known these things, so I lay down on the floor nearing the back of the house and I just gazed at the swaying coconut trees and the clouds in the hills. They had so much definition, the different shades of green and orange were so sharp, I felt calm,and at ease , and it wasn’t too long before I started to drift away.

Waking up in a renewed spirit, I remembered why I had taken a break in the first place. I needed to disconnect from everyone else, and find the comfort I once did in being by myself. I was content, and felt self-sufficient,  I reminded myself that I was indeed enough and worthy of being loved. I decided that I would learn who I am, understand my needs and wants, know what I deem acceptable and what I am willing to risk, and I decided I would reassess my values and develop standards all in the name of love. I believe in doing so, self love, the first step to true love, develops.

But why as a young twenty (20) year old woman ,  would I be so concerned about a love that wasn’t present right now. There was no one who had confessed their feelings,  and in turn I wasn’t “in love”. But meeting someone lately had reminded me to prepare myself for the love that I wanted , the amazing, unconditional love I pray that God has in store for me-the love I not only want to feel for myself, but the love I want to feel for someone else. So here goes, today is the first day that I am learning to love.

This post is the first in my “To Love and Be Loved” series , so look out for more posts. But right now it’s Destra Vs. Lucy , and I feel so nice. 😀